Save Me?

O Lord my God, my Saviour... how wonderful it is to lay at Your feet.
To be in Your presence and kneel before You and Your glory.
How great the wind of Your breath is upon my soul, God,
the breath that none of Yours' can mistake.
Your burden is light, yet Your weight is heavy on me, O God.
To what do I owe the God of Wonders and Love and Light,
what can I give to You, that You didn't make or have come into being already?
You see Your children God, and You call them from the deepest place You made in them; their hearts. You are glorious and mighty, God, and Your face shall I seek for the rest of my days.

Yet I sit in in the back of my mind, contemplating of my love for You... as I lose again.
This battle is fierce and this war rages against me, God.
I pray for deliverance and the death of my flesh, yet it continues on and on.
I am weak Father. I am weary from battle and Your presence has left me.
My sins are ever before me, and though I clean with soap they do not go away.
Though I ask for Your mercy my heart rejects, because Your mercies I don't want used in vain.
God, how long... how long, O God will You leave me like this?
How long will You look on me with reproof? How long will I lose this battle?
My sin makes me sickly and retch...
My spirit cries out “Abba, Father!”, and yet You do not hear.
Don't abandon me... please don't forsake me.
I run up this hill with You in sight but the more I run the more opposition have I.
Do You not want me? Am I not really Yours? Will You reach out Your hand and help me up the hill? God... I cannot do this alone.

Even so, I will climb. I will continue to seek You, for I know I will find You.
I will love You evermore, for You are my God, You are my true love.
I don't only want union with You for the promise of heaven, Jesus...
I want companionship, because I love You.
Place fear in me, Lord, place fear in me and shine Your light, God.
O Son of Man, have pity on Your servant...