Save Me?

O Lord my God, my Saviour... how wonderful it is to lay at Your feet.
To be in Your presence and kneel before You and Your glory.
How great the wind of Your breath is upon my soul, God,
the breath that none of Yours' can mistake.
Your burden is light, yet Your weight is heavy on me, O God.
To what do I owe the God of Wonders and Love and Light,
what can I give to You, that You didn't make or have come into being already?
You see Your children God, and You call them from the deepest place You made in them; their hearts. You are glorious and mighty, God, and Your face shall I seek for the rest of my days.

Yet I sit in in the back of my mind, contemplating of my love for You... as I lose again.
This battle is fierce and this war rages against me, God.
I pray for deliverance and the death of my flesh, yet it continues on and on.
I am weak Father. I am weary from battle and Your presence has left me.
My sins are ever before me, and though I clean with soap they do not go away.
Though I ask for Your mercy my heart rejects, because Your mercies I don't want used in vain.
God, how long... how long, O God will You leave me like this?
How long will You look on me with reproof? How long will I lose this battle?
My sin makes me sickly and retch...
My spirit cries out “Abba, Father!”, and yet You do not hear.
Don't abandon me... please don't forsake me.
I run up this hill with You in sight but the more I run the more opposition have I.
Do You not want me? Am I not really Yours? Will You reach out Your hand and help me up the hill? God... I cannot do this alone.

Even so, I will climb. I will continue to seek You, for I know I will find You.
I will love You evermore, for You are my God, You are my true love.
I don't only want union with You for the promise of heaven, Jesus...
I want companionship, because I love You.
Place fear in me, Lord, place fear in me and shine Your light, God.
O Son of Man, have pity on Your servant...

Water into Wine

Jesus Christ had a thing for doing amazing miracles. One of the first things He did, was turn water into wine. A dull tasting liquid with no real benefits or problems. Just... water. He turned this water into wine. A sweet yet bitter liquid, that could help in many areas but could also cause problems when used in excess or hurt someone that is intolerant to it.
Taking a cue from my Lord... “He who has ears to hear, them them hear.”

Today... this day... I declare war with the Enemy of God's people. I see the pieces of this puzzle coming together in a way that sparks a flame within me, and is so intense that it is hard to take in the air.

Since I have become a new creature, an alien, an outcast, an exile... I have prayed for wisdom most likely more than anything other gift that Yahweh gives his children. According to the Bible, you must make “your ear attentive to wisdom
and inclining your heart to understanding;
 3 yes, if you call out for insight
and raise your voice for understanding,
 4 if you seek it like silver
and search for it as for hidden treasures,
 5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord
and find the knowledge of God.
 6 For the Lord gives wisdom;
from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;
 7 he stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
he is a shield to those who walk in integrity...” Proverbs 2:2-7 ESV

I have cried out, and I am still searching for truth. I am still searching for wisdom, and the Lord has been gracious to me. Sometimes, I even wonder to myself, if I am learning too much, if God is giving me more than a 1 ½ year old Christian should be in possession with, but then I remember He does not give more than we can bear.


I have recently realized that much of what this world thinks is normal, especially this generation, is a con. Satan has crept in unawares, even into the church of Christ with false doctrines to divide the people of God, and with his deceptions. He has most indefinitely fooled many. Even me, until wisdom was given, and understanding was provided. I am more aware now than ever that I do not belong here. I really do feel as if I am an exile in a foreign land...

Today I declare war. Today, I declare truth. I say to those who follow false doctrines “I declare the truth”. I say to those who follow false gods “I declare truth”. The weapons of warfare however is what makes the battle, and without them I would prevail nothing. The Spirit of the Lord, God's Word, and a heart given to Christ Jesus make this battle victorious. Without these, victory would be lost for the battle is not my own, but the battle belongs to the Lord!

He's turning the water into wine.

Revelation1:12-16

Anyone ever
wonder what our (true) God looks like? Ever heard someone say, "We can't
know what He looks like."? Well... The bible tells us in vivid detail.
John the beloved speaking, in his vision on Patmos:"Then I turned to see
the voice that was speaking to me, and on turning I saw seven golden
lampstands, and in the midst
of the lampstands one like a son of man, clothed with a long robe and a
golden sash around His chest. The hairs of His head were white, like
white wool, like snow. His eyes were a FLAME OF FIRE, His feet were
like burnished bronze, refined in a furnace, and His voice was like the
roar of many waters. In His right hand He held seven stars, from His
mouth came a sharp two edged sword,and HIS FACE WAS LIKE THE SUN
SHINING IN FULL STRENGTH." Revelation1:12-16/ This is our King sons and
daughters! This is our God! This is Jesus Son of God! His majesty was
so great... That John even recorded"falling at His feet as though
DEAD..."...