End of the Dead Man

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6-7


This November marks the birth of my spirit. It's been one short and interesting year since becoming a follower of Christ. Last October also happened to be the month I was arrested for a felony in my foolishness.

The court hearings have been many, and dragged out. I tried filing for Differed Prosecution (no conviction or jail-time.) and that was a fail. So I then filed for Youthful Offender (lessened punishment and no records of a felony.) I finally had my last one. It has been a long test, as I can see now. And I believe, I have passed, not of my own strength though. I have spent well over 7-8 months pleading with God to not let me go to jail/prison. On my knees and on my face I have pleaded. But even in my desperation I also prayed that “Beyond what I am asking you, my Father... I would rather You do Your own will. Amen...”.

November 2nd I find myself reading some scripture before I head off to what I didn't even know was going to be the last time I visit that courtroom. I was reading the last chapter of 1st Peter. “Humble yourselves, and cast all your cares and worries unto God, because He cares for you.”. This spoke to me in a huge way. I realized that my worrying was a form of pride within myself, and that I should give them to Him and not worry about what may happen because it is in His hands.
I was supposed to read that.

Now at the courthouse. after about what seemed forever, my lawyer comes to me and we go out to talk. He showed me my felony papers and I reviewed them to make sure they were correct, and we headed back in the courtroom and he stops me and says, “You're pretty much guaranteed Youthful Offender, you have no opposition, so it's looking good for you.”.
We head in and I sit back down for a minute before I'm called up by the judge. I walk up and stand beside my lawyer and the district attorney awaiting the answer on the Youthful Offender. “You are being granted Youthful Offender.”, he said to me, and I was happy about that. Then my lawyer leans over to me and whispers that the judge is going to ask me to plead guilty, not guilty, or guilty by mental illness. He told me to go ahead and plead guilty.

Now my head was rushing, because I had no one there with me at all, and did not plan on any actual trial. I was caught completely off guard! Here it came...
“What do you plead Anthony?” The judge asked me. I decided to just do it, so I pleaded guilty.
He told me that I was looking at 1-2 years in jail and 3 years of supervised probation (which could have been much worse without the Youthful Offender mind you), asked me if I accept and I said yes.
He then asked the district attorney what he thought, and he pretty much said the same thing. So it was finished. I was going to jail, just like that. I had no idea this was going to happen, especially this soon. Everything became a blur as I started worrying in my head about what I was going to do... “How am I going to let my job know? All they knew was that I was gonna find out about my youthful offender!? This is going to kill my family, they had no warnings either!! What am I going to do?” Everyone in the courtroom was silent, as the judge wrote some stuff down on some papers.

In the middle of all the chaos in my head, I remembered the scripture that I read earlier. “Humble yourself, and give your worry to your Father, because He cares for you.”. At this, I silently gave what was going on to God, knowing that everything was under His control, and if He wills me to jail, then that is where I am going. I will accept it and make good of it.

Quietness was still present in the court after I accepted what was going on, until the judge all of a sudden asks me ,“Anthony, tell me a little bit about yourself.”.
Still kinda caught up in my head, I asked “What?”, and he asked again, “What do you do besides drugs?”.

I was taken aback by this random question, mainly because he just issued out my sentence. “What the heck made him want to ask me that?”, I thought to myself...
At a loss of words, I just told him what came to mind.

“Your honor, I don't really do any drugs anymore, I have no desire for them. After my second time in jail, I realized I needed some kind of help, and enrolled in the New Life Recovery center here in town. I graduated this March and now work full time at Lowe's.”.
There was still quietness so I went on...
” Now your honor, I am not going to use God as an excuse, or as a way to sway this judgment, but I am also a child of His. Since I started living for God, things have changed around me and in me your honor, I am not the same. I am willing also to accept whatever judgment you come to, and face it.”.

Again the quietness. I left it at that though.
The judge looked like there was something wrong. He looked like he was in deep thought and was troubled. A lady sitting at a desk in front of me looked like she was smiling at me and the district attorney was also smiling. The judge finally looks at me and tells me, “Why do you have to make being a judge so hard? I was really hoping to lay it down hard on someone today!(he laughs after that and smiles) Mr. Anthony, I will hold you to what you have attested to on this day, and I hope not to see you in here again, proving me wrong in my decision to let you be only be under Unsupervised Probation and to pay a monthly payment for court costs.”.
At this I just stared at him for a minute, trying to comprehend what he was saying, when he nodded and smiled, and said, “Your free to go, good luck to you.”.

In summary: I have no record of a felony because they demoted it to a misdemeanor. I have youthful offender, so nothing will ever show up. I don't have anymore court hearings. I am not going to be locked up. I don't have to report to anyone for my probation. All I really have to do , is pay a monthly $50 for court costs until it is payed off.

This was not luck. This was not human mercy. This was God. “Lord, please don't let me go to jail, I ask in Jesus name that you just let me have probation and court fines, please Lord, my Father...Amen”.
This was a real prayer, prayed by me tons of times throughout this year. And He granted it to me. All I had to do was learn that in all my worries, in the middle is pride. To give it all to God and accept extreme situations with a grateful heart, is to humble yourself before His feet.

Amen.